That’s how long my body has been building this baby. 40 long, incredibly weird, and mostly uncomfortable weeks.
On June 3rd we celebrated our baby boy’s due date. It feels huge to finally hit this milestone. We’re finally able to say that his lungs are fully developed and he’s ready to bring on the world. But here’s the thing – I’m still pregnant.
Yeah, I know, that’s kinda how this whole thing works. You give your care provider the date of your last period, and they give you the approximate date that your baby will be “due”. Then 40 freaking longgggg weeks later, the little nugget still isn’t here. And you’re left asking if pregnancy ever ends.
For those of you who are in this same predicament (or moving towards it), I wish I could say that it does in fact end. But the thing is, I can’t make you any promises. Of course, logically, I know he has to come out sometime. But mentally, I’m about to go insane wondering when.
Everyone guessed a June date for baby’s arrival. Thanks for jinxing me, guys!
Three weeks ago, I was on a plane flying back from Atlanta. I watched my beautiful sister get married and spent the weekend in the Georgia mountains with my family. Anthony and I had an awesome time.
But before we left home and even as we were in GA, people were kind of freaking out. Some people couldn’t believe I was allowed to fly. Others swore that flying and hiking and doing anything but sitting was going to induce my labor. Then there were the handful that reminded me of the reality that baby will come when he’s ready. And that most likely would not be in the few short days that I was out of town. Reassuring, right?
Then we got home. Whew! We made it without giving birth on an airplane. But I soon realized that everyone’s vibes had given me the impression that baby was coming any minute.
I am, admittedly, as big as a house at this point.
40 Weeks Pregnant
So the days ticked by. I’ve had many nights over the last 3 weeks of pretty strong contractions. I’ve physically felt my baby’s head move lower and lower in my pelvis. But each day I wake up and there’s no baby. He’s just hanging out in my uterus, hugging my bladder and using his little feet to massage my stomach (which is even less fun than it sounds).
And if I had a dollar for every time someone has made a suggestion about how to naturally induce labor, I’d be rollin’ in the dough. Yes, I tried eating pineapple. I eat spicy food more than a normal person – it doesn’t make a difference. Most days are spent going on long walks with my pup, doing squats, and bouncing on my exercise ball.
But guess what people? Baby isn’t having it. All those things that people swear made them go into labor – they aren’t working. Most likely, their body was already moving in that direction. Then, after trying 50 different things to get it started, something finally “worked”. In other words, their body only went into labor because it was already ready to do so.
And apparently, my body just isn’t ready.
At My Wits End
Needless to say, ya girl is a wee bit over being pregnant.
If I sit or stand for too long, my hands and feet swell like crazy. I’m sweaty in places that I didn’t know existed. Naps are no longer a luxury, but a requirement. And on the rare day that I feel pretty good, keeping myself mentally busy is a huge challenge. Binging on Netflix, reading a million books, and organizing everything in sight has been worn out. So now, I wait.
And I know, this is probably the least encouraging post I’ve ever written. The last thing I want is to scare or discourage other pregnant women. Ladies – you may never feel the way I do right now. I truly hope you don’t! But if you do, I want you to know that you aren’t a terrible person.
Regardless of how miserable I feel, I have worked hard to find moments of joy and be grateful. Because the truth is, carrying a baby is amazing blessing. Even in the suffering, there are those who would take my place in an instant. But that doesn’t minimize the feelings that I have right now. And I certainly don’t feel guilty for anxiously wanting this pregnancy to end.
In reality, my impatience is coming from a place of excited expectancy. I can’t wait to experience birth. Anthony has been saying “give me that baby!” for months now. We are absolutely unqualified when it comes to becoming parents. But we are so ready.
So even though I’m being a huge bummer right now, its only because I can’t wait to meet my baby. And when he finally gets here, prepare yourselves – because we’re going to be obsessed.